So here is the saga of my nearly dropping dead. 

It all began on a Monday morning.  I got out of bed, dressed and went to sit on the couch and read until my toddler, The Girl, woke up.  I felt a little uncomfortable and kept taking deep breaths thinking I could shake off the feeling.  Around 9 am The Girl wakes up and as I am changing her and getting her ready for the day I feel short of breath.  In my head I am thinking “…hmmmm that’s odd…” But no worries right??

 I go into the kitchen to get my daughter her morning glass of milk.  As I am standing there pouring milk I am short of breath and I start feeling this EXTREMELY painful squeezing in my chest.  I start to panic thinking “Oh shit I am having a heart attack…”  I am torn between calling 911 or waiting to see if it will pass.  In addition to all this I am freaking out out because my 12 month old daughter is there looking at me and I have no idea what is going to happen to her if I keel over.  Slowly the pain lessens and while I am struggling for breath I make my way over to the couch and sit down.  As soon as I am sitting and relaxed I call my husband, StudHombre.  Now by this time it’s around 10.  He wants me to go to the ER but I am reluctant and said “hey I’ll just call a doctor” and see if it’s not something I can just take a pill for right?  WRONG.  I call and talk to a nurse and she says I need to get me to the ER immediately.  Well hell.

So Stud Hombre comes home and asks how I am doing.  I am sitting on the couch and so long as I stay there and don’t move I am fine.  If I get up I start to gasp for air.  Keep in mind that I am trying to take care of a toddler and not move at the same time.  Exactly.

It is about noon and we venture to the ER.  I say “hey I am short of breath and have chest pain”.  Do they take me in to the ER?  No.  They make me sit there and fill out paper work and take my temp and blood pressure all casual like I am there for a physical.  This is getting on Tony’s nerves because I needed to be seen by someone a.s.a.p. according to the nurse I talked to.  I am, again, sitting so I feel ok.   We get taken back to an  ER room thingy which is pretty much just a curtained off area.  Thus we can hear everything that is going on around us.  The guy in the next curtained off area was having complications from his gastric bypass surgery.  It was like listening to a radio drama. 

“Mr. Johnson I have good new and bad news”

“What is it doc??”

“The bad news is we nicked your colon in surgery and it is seeping into other areas of your body creating infection…”

“Dear god NO!”

“The good news is that we have a specialist coming in and you WILL play the violin again!”

“Bless you Doctor!”

You get the idea.  As for myself they first took me in to have a chest x-ray done and after I have the x-ray I am ordered not to get up or move.  So we sit there waiting forever for x-ray results trying to entertain a toddler in the ER.  Exactly.

They X-rays come back showing nothing so they want to do a cat scan of my lungs.  They get me ready to do this but I have to first have about 12 vials of blood taken for tests (not including the 2 they took when I first got there).  This is not an exaggerated number.  Then they put an IV line in me because they have to give me some kind of crazy chemical that will make all the blood vessels in my lungs “light up”.  StudHombre is asking questions like crazy and all they will really say is that they are looking to see if I have a blood clot in my lungs.  They were pretty casual about it so I am thinking “hey must not be a big deal”.

I go in for the CAT scan and the chemical they gave me, via IV, they said would make me feel like I am getting warm from the inside out.  What I felt was something like I peed my pants.  I am laying as still as I can surrounded by this doughnut of a machine and embarrassed as hell at the thought of losing control of my bladder while 3 people in another room look at a light show put on my lungs.  I was in hell.  Come to find out I did not in fact pee my pants but rather experienced another common effect of this chemical.  Why didn’t they mention that one before the test?!

Again more waiting for test results.  FINALLY the doctor comes back and cheerfully says “You have a blood clot in your lungs we are going to have to admit you!” 

Now realize I am a stay at home mom with no health insurance.  The thought of the bill for the ER alone was enough to send me into a coma.  So I tell her as plainly as I can without trying to let the panic show in my voice (to be honest I was near hysterical) “ I am a stay at home mom and I have no health insurance.  I will do whatever you want me to do, take whatever medicine you want me to take, I will do ANYTHING so long as I can just go home.”  Now up until the point they have been very casual and cheerful and relaxed as if I had nothing wrong with me.   StudHombre is getting even more annoyed because they aren’t really telling us anything. 

WE have by that time spent 6 HOURS in the ER.  Waiting and trying to entertain a toddler.  Exactly!  That’s what we said.

StudHombre chases after the doctor to get more info and they call up to prepare me a room.  StudHombre comes back after a few minutes with not much more info.  He and I are making a list of who to call and trying to make arrangements for someone to watch the kids.  The doctor comes and informs us that not only will I be staying in the hospital but I have my very own room in the ICU.  That’s right the Intensive Care Unit. 

To be continued.........